rest

Its been a rough couple of days. As I have run back and forth to the toilet to throw up from the growing life inside of me, I have gotten more frustrated and exausted. I cry as I dry heave and cant stop, I cry that I cant eat a piece of fruit without feeling nausious. I have 17 more weeks of this and I cry because of that too. Then, I come home on a day like today and my son is sound asleep in his crib, my daughter is in school and my husband is at work. I feel lonely. WEIRD! I know, right? But then I feel the kicks and jabs of this little life in me and I realize that I get the joy of this short time of being the only one who gets to experience this life. Its like I have my secret friend and we have our jokes and our games we play with eachother. This child has already become my companion in an odd way. We do everything together and I love it. Yes I get uncomfortable and yes I hate being sick but we are doing it together. I thank Jesus for times of teaching me to rest and of His great love for me through my children. Even though this child is not here in my arm in the physical sense, I carry him/her every day. I thank Jesus that he reminds me of His continual faithfulness through the roughest days. He promises me that He will never leave me or forsake me. He promises me that He will not give me more than I can handle. So as I trust His faithfulness and as I trust His promises I can find complete and utter joy knowing my Jesus is always here.