So often as a mom I find myself asking my kids to do things that I would never do. Things that intimidate me or things that scare me or things that I don't do. Things such as walking up to stranger kids at the park to make friends and play with. Yes, I would meet new people, yes its a good thing, but it scares me. I get nervous to meet new people. I know its a good thing to make new friends, but this has come from learning over time. I want my kids to be healthy and exercise. Can I expect this if I don't do these things? I want my kids to clean their rooms, but I don't always clean mine. So many parents make their kids go gluten free or dairy free but then they eat ice cream and bread in front of their kids. Parents want their kids to run outside and exercise while they sit inside and watch TV.
Now there's nothing wrong with gluten free or dairy free, there's nothing wrong with exercise, there's nothing wrong with meeting new friends at the park. I think that these are all amazing things. What we dont realize so often as parents is that our kids are watching everything we do. They see it all. They see when I ask them to clean their rooms but my room is a pit. They see when I don't let them get a happy meal or juice but I am eating fries and drinking soda. THEY WATCH EVERYTHING I DO! They learn from watching me. They see when I tell them to exercise but then sit on the sofa. They see me sitting by myself at the park but then asking them to go make friends. I find that it is absolutely necessary to be an example to my kids of what I am asking of them. I feel as though asking them to eat all of their veggies starts with me eating all of my veggies. I feel as though cleaning rooms starts with me cleaning my own room. I feel that making new friends needs to be taught and learned, not expected. My kids will hear me and learn from me as I am an example and not only authority.
My heart is to walk life with my kids. I want them to obey me because they know I am also doing the same things. I don't always do this right. Often I tell them they cannot play electronics, but then I spend hours on the computer. I tell them to sit at the dinner table until they are done, but then I will get up for a phone call. I do know that I am the parent and there are things that are different. There is a line of them just learning to obey me because I am then mom. I do believe this comes from gaining trust in relationship with my kids. They need to see that mom has walked the same journey. My seven year old needs to hear my stories of pain as I navigated through school and girls. She needs to know that I understand.
I always come back to the point that this is what Jesus did with us. He came to this earth, knowing what was best for us, knowing what comes from the joy of relationships and from creating disciplines. He knew it all and yet he came to this earth and walked this life with us. He experienced our pain, he felt the things we have all felt. He became human and he humbled himself to our level. We are His children. He knows of this amazing and better life that happens and he knows living this life and the sadness and struggles and pain that it comes with. I believe as a parent he is asking me to do the same. He is asking me to enter into my children's world and walk their journey with them. I do know the joy that comes from meeting new friends, I do know the health that comes from eating all of their vegetables, I do know that exercising is good for them. Just because i know these things does not mean they will just do these things. I know them for myself but I dont always discipline myself to do them.
So here I am as a mom, I am flawed, I am scared, I want so often to do my thing and feel inconvenienced when I need to teach my children things that seem so simple to me. But they are children, they are learning they need to know that I understand them and that they can trust me. I am their example of Jesus. I am NOT Jesus and I will make many many mistakes. But my heart longs for them to know Jesus, to fall deeper in love with their creator. This comes from me, this comes from me trusting Jesus with myself and with my kids. My kids and I are learning alongside each other. We are a team, we live this life together, we struggle together and we learn together. They have taught me more about my Jesus than I have ever known. They raise me.
